Funny Inspirational Quotes
These funny inspirational quotes can bring a smile to anyone’s face. Someone once said that inspiration unlocks the best powers of the mind.
No matter how great you are at your calling, inspiration is the key that keeps you motivated to achieve success.
Here are some funny inspirational quotes you can read to find inspiration or share with your friends and loved ones.
Funny Motivational Quotes
1.) If at first, you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.
Steven Wright
2.) Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
Napoleon Bonaparte
3.) I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.
Benjamin Franklin
4.) Good things come to those who wait… greater things come to those who get off their keester and do anything to make it happen.
Unknown
5.) Don’t be so humble — you are not that great.
Golda Meir
Funny Inspiring Quotes
6.) When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
Steven Wright
7.) You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.
Jack London
8.) To learn to succeed, you must first learn to fail.
Michael Jordan
9.) I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book.
Groucho Marx
10.) I never did give them hell. I just told the truth, and they thought it was hell.
Harry S Truman
11.) Opportunity does not knock; it presents itself when you beat down the door.
Kyle Chandler
12.) Where there’s a will, there’s a way, and where there’s a way, there’s usually a stop sign somewhere along the road.
Unknown
13.) It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn’t give it up because, by then, I was too famous.
Robert Benchley
14.) People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
A.A. Milne
15.) Look up for inspiration, look down for concentration, but don’t look side to side for information.
Unknown
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Funny Inspirational Quotes
16.) Luck is what you have leftover after you give 100 percent.
Langston Coleman
17.) A stopped clock is right twice every day. After some years, it can boast of a long series of successes.
Marie von Ebner
18.) Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.
Will Rogers
19.) Many of us spend half our time wishing for things we could have if we didn’t spend half our time wishing.
Alexander Woollcott
20.) Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.
Isaac Asimov
21.) Opportunity dances with those who are already on the dance floor.
H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
22.) The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.
Joe Girard
23.) If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right.
Jerry Seinfeld
Short Inspirational Quotes Funny
24.) If you let your head get too big, it’ll break your neck.
Elvis Presley
25.) Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.
Truman Capote
26.) The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
Mark Twain
27.) Don’t mind your make-up; you’d better make your mind up.
Frank Zappa
28.) Well-behaved women seldom make history.
Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
29.) A clear conscience is a sure sign of a bad memory.
Mark Twain
30.) A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
Steve Martin
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Humorous Quotes
31.) A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.
Unknown
32.) People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.
Zig Ziglar
33.) The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.
Maureen Dowd
34.) The sun, with all those planets revolving around it and dependent upon it, can still ripen a bunch of grapes as if it had nothing else in the universe to do.
Galileo Galilei
35.) I cannot afford to waste my time making money.
Louis Agassiz
36.) When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.
Cathy Guisewite
37.) If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.
Betty Reese
38.) Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
George Burns
39.) Whoever said, ‘It’s not whether you win or lose that counts,’ probably lost.
Martina Navratilova
Tip: These funny inspirational quotes work nicely as captions for photos you post on social media.
Quotes That Put A Smile On Your Face
40.) If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.
Dalai Lama
41.) Life is like a sewer – what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
Tom Lehrer
42.) All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.
Mark Twain
43.) Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.
Charles Schulz
44.) I am an early bird and a night owl… so I am wise, and I have worms.
Michael Scott, “The Office”
45.) If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.
Yogi Berra
46.) When life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade and then try to find someone whose life has given them vodka and have a party.
Ron White
47.) Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.
Franklin P. Jones
48.) You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.
Robin Williams
49.) Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
Marilyn Monroe
Funny Quotes That Make You Laugh
50.) Bad decisions make good stories.
Ellis Vidler
51.) A peacock that rests on his tail feathers is just another turkey.
Dolly Parton
52.) The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits.
Albert Einstein
53.) Life is like a sewer – what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
Tom Lehre
54.) People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
Winnie the Pooh
55.) The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.
Terry Pratchett
56.) Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
Robert Bloch
57.) Live in the sunshine, swim the sea, drink the wild air.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
58.) Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese.
Billie Burke
Work Sayings
59.) Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
Thomas Edison
60.) By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.
Robert Frost
61.) Every artist was first an amateur.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
62.) The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.
Robert Frost
63.) Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
Erma Bombeck
64.) If hard work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to themselves.
Lane Kirkland
65.) Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
Edgar Bergen
(The type of funny inspirational quotes that doesn’t go over well with your boss)
66.) Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn’t the work he’s supposed to be doing at that moment.
Robert Benchley
67.) I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
Jerome K. Jerome
68.) I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.
Charles Lamb
69.) It’s a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it’s a depression when you lose yours.
Harry S. Truman
70.) Personally, I have nothing against work, particularly when performed quietly and unobtrusively by someone else.
Barbara Ehrenreich
Check out our inspiring, uplifting quotes.
Inspirational Quotes for Business
71.) When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: Whose?
Don Marquis
72.) Work: a dangerous disorder affecting high public functionaries who want to go fishing.
Ambrose Bierce
73.) The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.
Oscar Wilde
74.) A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
Fred Allen
75.) I do not like work even when someone else does it.
Mark Twain
76.) Work is the greatest thing in the world. So we should always save some of it for tomorrow.
Don Herold
77.) The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.
Sarah Brown
78.) The world is divided into people who do things, and people who get the credit.
Dwight Morrow
79.) I truly believe the wireless mouse was invented so people at work had one less thing to hang themselves with.
Mike Vanatta
80.) A well-educated friend of mine with three advanced degrees can say I’m unemployed in six languages.
Unknown Author
81.) No project was ever completed on time and within budget.
Cheops Law
82.) The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.
Robert Frost
83.) Work until your bank account looks like a phone number.
Unknown
Sarcastic Quotations
84.) If you are afraid of being lonely, don’t try to be right.
Jules Renard
85.) The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.
Steven Wright
86.) Many a true word is spoken in jest.
English Proverb
87.) Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully.
Max Eastman
88.) Change is not a four-letter word… but often your reaction to it is!
Jeffrey Gitome
89.) Someone once defined humor as a way to keep from killing yourself. I keep my sense of humor and I stay alive.
Abe Burrows
90.) I think the next best thing to solving a problem is finding some humor in it.
Frank A. Clark
91.) Sometimes, the best cure for life’s woes is a sense of humor.
Frank Sonnenberg
92.) Humor prevents one from becoming a tragic figure even though he is involved in tragic events.
E.T. Eberhart
Funny Inspirational Life Quotes
93.) To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone.
Reba McEntire
94.) My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far, I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.
Dave Barry
95.) The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.
Vince Lombardi
96.) A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.
Graham Norton
97.) Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.
Robert Orben
98.) In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
Fran Lebowitz
99.) I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Rita Rudner
100.) I’m not crazy — I’ve just been in a very bad mood for 40 years.
Ouiser Boudreaux
101.) As you get older, three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.
Norman Wisdom
102.) Hating people is like burning down your own home to get rid of a rat.
Harry Emerson Fosdick
103.) Life is hard. And we better laugh at everything, otherwise, we’re going down the tube.
Joan Rivers
104.) The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.
Will Rogers
Amusing
105.) Even a stopped clock is right twice every day.
Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach
106.) I’d like to have a kid, but I’m not sure I’m ready to spend 10 years of my life constantly asking someone where his shoes are.
Damien Fahey
107.) Sometimes you lie in bed at night, and you don’t have a single thing to worry about. That always worries me!
Charlie Brown
108.) You know you’ve reached middle age when you’re cautioned to slow down by your doctor instead of by the police.
Joan Rivers
109.) You grow up the day you have your first real laugh — at yourself.
Ethel Barrymore
110.) Whatever you do, always give 100% — unless you’re donating blood.
Bill Murray
By Michael O’Halloran
Michael O’Halloran founded Greeting Card Poet in 2014 and has worked as its publisher and editor ever since. He has co-authored four books on kids’ trivia and four on coaching. Previously, Michael was the president of Magnetic Poetry. He has invented and brought over 75 new gift and toy products to market, most of which deal with wordplay. Mike is married and a father of four daughters.
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